From Broke To Brewery

Okay, I am actually writing this weeks blog with hopes my readers can help me out.  We all ask the question what makes us happy.  "Do what you like, like what you do", right? Well my husband has a very stable job, that brings in decent money, but he just is not happy. I feel so bad for him. I love my job, and I really want him to feel the same, but I don't think he ever will working where he is. When I ask him what he wants he says work for himself.  He has a hobby of brewing his own beer, and he actually has a commercial set-up and the stuff he produces is GREAT! The question is.....how do you get from here to there......The job he has now demands a lot of time, so he is unable to put a super amount of time into developing his new business. He can't quit his job because I need electricity so I can write my blogs for this class!! He has the skill, he has the equipment, he has the motivation, he even has a pretty decent set up in the garage (lacking septic which I think may be an issue), but does anyone have any solid advise?  How can we make beer make us rich? Thanks in advance for your help!  Good luck with Hurricane Sandy!!

So, let me elaborate a little more on why my blog is called Beer and Diapers. The beer part is probably obvious as so many instances that happen throughout a day end with the reassurance that there this is an ice cold beer in the fridge.  The diapers part, that one needs a little more explanation. True, I have kids, and they wear diapers like any other kids, except there is one difference.  My oldest daughter is six and still wears pull ups to bed! The same as my four year old (not as big a deal as my six year old I understand but she was out of daytime diapers before her second birthday. I had high hopes for her).  Most households are completely done with the expense by the time the child is three.  We are clearly skewing that mold.   I read that it cost around $1500 for the first two years just in diapers. 

It isn’t just the money that causes me to drink, it is the smell! When they are old enough to remove them their selves, they will. They will take them off wherever they can and leave them there. I cleaned my room today and found three peed-in diapers under my bed! Gross!!! What does that say about me when I couldn’t even smell it? (I really have to find time to clean more!)

My daughter started Kindergarten last year. In the beginning she was doing great, but about two months into it, she was having accidents every day.  I ended up having to send her to school in pull ups. I took her to the doctors three times thinking that something was wrong with her wiring or something. I have also Googled lots about my little issue. I guess I have to wait it out. They will grow out if it they say. Over sensitive bladders they say. Don’t let them think it is a negative thing they say.  Get a Potty Pager they say. Give them medicine they say. Wake them up in the middle of the night they say. Reduce fluids before bed they say. A chiropractor may help they say………….  I say, hurry up and put your pull up. I have a beer waiting for me! Does anyone else have any solutions to my little expensive issue? Good night everyone! :-)

How to Toilet Train Your Cat

Because so many of you were so impressed with my toilet trained cat (actually, nobody said anything, but they should have. I mean, my cat pee’s on the toilet!!), I have decided to do a podcast on how to train your cat to use the toilet as a litter box. Though my cat is a self-learned prophecy, my father had a cat that he potty trained once.  

I did want to mention one thing, off the topic before I share this week’s pod cast.  In ‘Podcasting For Dummies’ excerpt that we were assigned to read this week, it listed a lot of great podcasting sites. One peaked my interest on becoming more financially structured. I actually clicked it to see what it was all about.  It took me directly to a male escorting site!!!  Though, I guess, if I hooked my husband up with this site our money issues could be solved, I did get the impression www.radioeconomics.com was not about money management, but I did find it hysterical and worth sharing. 

Okay, here goes with my podcast on how to train your cat to use the toilet. 

https://www.box.com/s/9p5m67q8jr3z0zvoor4u

Why Won’t My Cat Flush?

My second blog is going to revolve once again around my cat’s bathroom habits.  A couple years ago, my oldest daughter wanted a cat named Sophie for her birthday, so we got her one, only to find out Sophie was a boy….so Sophie turned into Sofa.  We were living with my father-in-law at the time who wasn’t 100% sold on the idea of a cat to begin with, but agreed because he knew how much my daughter wanted one.  Because of this, Sofa quickly turned into an outside cat so the litter box didn’t stick around long, (thank goodness).  When we moved into our new house, which was a lot closer to the road we were more skeptical of letting the cat out, so we once again brought in the litter box.  After living here a few weeks, we noticed the litter box was not getting used, so we search and searched the house, scared of where we will find what Sofa was using as an outhouse.  We discovered the answer one night while my husband and I were eating a quite late dinner.  We heard water running in the downstairs bathroom, so we ran in preparing to find a leak. What we saw was our cat peeing in the toilet! Our cat had potty trained itself!!  Watch the video proof  (please excuse my husband’s profanity!).

The Connection

So I really wanted to name my blog “Urine Launch” because one, in an article I read it said blogs with the word “launch” in it seemed to do well, and two, at least once a week, I want to put myself into an alcoholic coma because of some mishap with one of my family members lack of bladder control. However, when I mentioned that name to a few friends I got more of a grossed out look than the smile I was going for, so “Beer and Diapers” it is.  Now I am a laugh-pee’r from way back, and I have had two kids so my issues with my escaping bodily fluids are forgivable.  But while trying to stay sane and feel like I have a little bit of control while being a full time mom/employee/student, there are some situations that occur during  my hectic life that just plain drive me to drink!!!

I will give you an example of what I am talking about.  Below please see the chain of events that led to me drinking myself to sleep one night this past summer…prelude-it had been pouring rain for about three days straight, and I may have been in one of my irritable monthly moods:

1)      Extremely horrible day at work where I was forced to stay late knowing it was past the time I needed to get my kids from the sitter costing me more money and annoying my sitter…

2)      Picking up my kids that were fighting and screaming. I told them to go get into the car.

3)      While trying to have a semi-sane conversation with my sitter,  my oldest daughter runs inside, over the freshly mopped floor and newly shampooed carpets of my sitter with muddy shoes because she had to pee so bad. 

4)      As if the mud wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t make it to the bathroom in time….

5)      Cleaned up pee and mud while apologizing profusely.

6)      Daughter goes back outside, forgets her doll and runs back in again forgetting to remover her muddy shoes before running on the white carpet (UGH!)

7)      I finally went out to the car where my daughter number two had walked all over the car seats that we had just detailed because we were trading our car in the very next day (I mentioned the rain and mud, right?)

8)      She had also decided to decorate the doors and center console with pen art…..My three year old is no Van Gough!

9)      Finally got home to find that my dog too had had a tough day. Decided to distribute female bathroom trash all over the kitchen floor, almost strategically around our island.

10)   In the living room I find my husband was sleeping on the couch which frustrated me, for other reasons.

11)   I decided to sit down on the other couch saying to myself “I just need a minute”.

12)   After sitting for thirty seconds I realize my butt was getting wet….I stood to find that my cat had urinated on both cushions and the back of my couch!!!!!!!!

13)   I yelled at my husband to wake up and went upstairs to do homework and give myself a little time out.

14)   My husband took the cushions outside to hose down....and gave my youngest the hose to help out, while he ran inside to use the bathroom…..

15)   He comes out of the bathroom to see the living room flooded with water…..daughter # 2 decided to help out even more and wash the screen door as well!

16)   I drove to the store and bought a six pack.

Below you will see a picture of my expensive microfiber couch that never recovered from the cat peeing incident. Beer and Diapers……it is all coming together now, isn’t it?