The Connection

So I really wanted to name my blog “Urine Launch” because one, in an article I read it said blogs with the word “launch” in it seemed to do well, and two, at least once a week, I want to put myself into an alcoholic coma because of some mishap with one of my family members lack of bladder control. However, when I mentioned that name to a few friends I got more of a grossed out look than the smile I was going for, so “Beer and Diapers” it is.  Now I am a laugh-pee’r from way back, and I have had two kids so my issues with my escaping bodily fluids are forgivable.  But while trying to stay sane and feel like I have a little bit of control while being a full time mom/employee/student, there are some situations that occur during  my hectic life that just plain drive me to drink!!!

I will give you an example of what I am talking about.  Below please see the chain of events that led to me drinking myself to sleep one night this past summer…prelude-it had been pouring rain for about three days straight, and I may have been in one of my irritable monthly moods:

1)      Extremely horrible day at work where I was forced to stay late knowing it was past the time I needed to get my kids from the sitter costing me more money and annoying my sitter…

2)      Picking up my kids that were fighting and screaming. I told them to go get into the car.

3)      While trying to have a semi-sane conversation with my sitter,  my oldest daughter runs inside, over the freshly mopped floor and newly shampooed carpets of my sitter with muddy shoes because she had to pee so bad. 

4)      As if the mud wasn’t bad enough, she didn’t make it to the bathroom in time….

5)      Cleaned up pee and mud while apologizing profusely.

6)      Daughter goes back outside, forgets her doll and runs back in again forgetting to remover her muddy shoes before running on the white carpet (UGH!)

7)      I finally went out to the car where my daughter number two had walked all over the car seats that we had just detailed because we were trading our car in the very next day (I mentioned the rain and mud, right?)

8)      She had also decided to decorate the doors and center console with pen art…..My three year old is no Van Gough!

9)      Finally got home to find that my dog too had had a tough day. Decided to distribute female bathroom trash all over the kitchen floor, almost strategically around our island.

10)   In the living room I find my husband was sleeping on the couch which frustrated me, for other reasons.

11)   I decided to sit down on the other couch saying to myself “I just need a minute”.

12)   After sitting for thirty seconds I realize my butt was getting wet….I stood to find that my cat had urinated on both cushions and the back of my couch!!!!!!!!

13)   I yelled at my husband to wake up and went upstairs to do homework and give myself a little time out.

14)   My husband took the cushions outside to hose down....and gave my youngest the hose to help out, while he ran inside to use the bathroom…..

15)   He comes out of the bathroom to see the living room flooded with water…..daughter # 2 decided to help out even more and wash the screen door as well!

16)   I drove to the store and bought a six pack.

Below you will see a picture of my expensive microfiber couch that never recovered from the cat peeing incident. Beer and Diapers……it is all coming together now, isn’t it?